While being tolerant is frequently a very good quality, tolerating what isn’t working can be a major energy drain. Tolerations are things you put up with and are not happy about, whether in your job, your environment, your relationships, or yourself.
Tolerations are often invisible and easy to dismiss as minor annoyances. But, they weigh on your mind and make focus difficult because you aren’t addressing them. Settling for less than you want can seem easier–so much so that you choose to maintain the status quo. You keep the okay job instead of finding a better one, you ignore small boundary violations, and work around people you just don’t want to take the time to deal with.
The good news is you can change this habit. Determine where you are settling for less. Some people find the easiest way to gain clarity is to make a list. Then look for a pattern. Is there a consistent theme or area where you are letting things slide? Once you’re aware where you’re settling, address the problems one by one. Start small so you can begin crossing them off your list to build momentum. You’ll be amazed at how much energy you free up once you address the “little” things that have been nagging at you.
As you become aware of what is acceptable to you, you won’t tolerate as much moving forward. You’re likely to be much more specific in your requests, better at setting and keeping boundaries, and able to see that with little effort you can make your daily life much better. Instead of passively waiting for things to change, you’re in the driver’s seat and in control of your situation.
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